Impatient for Patience

One of my first blog posts, and still applicable today. Are you impatient for patience with your kids?

this grateful mama

Recently, I snapped at my son, impatient with his whiny attitude. My unkind tone invoked tears. Annoyed, I went on to tell him how whining hurt my ears. Now sobbing, he cried, “Stop talking, mom”.

His words stung. They were all he could utter to express his hurt feelings. Convicted, his tears broke my heart.

Correcting his attitude was appropriate, but not with such blatant insensitivity. My tone rendered my words ineffective and left me needing to apologize.

What was wrong with me? Obviously, my child cried and did not feel JOY when I spoke to him like that. 

Most days, I follow simple steps to address discipline. Sticking to the plan usually keeps me calm regardless of the offense. SOME days, I have seemingly never-ending patience.

But there are too many days where a trivial offense is met with an unwarranted impatience.  Frustrated when my child can’t wait just ONE MINUTE for that glass of water, I raise my…

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Infant Silent Reflux Is NOT Silent – 5 Ways to Help Older Children Cope

Infant Silent Reflux Is NOT Silent: 5 Ways To Help Older Children Cope |

Adding a baby to the family is a big adjustment.

For everyone.

And when that baby hurts and has perhaps more needs than some other babies do, it can be an even greater adjustment.

The newest sweet addition to our family has silent reflux and had a tongue tie and lip tie that caused feeding issues which caused pain and crying for much of each day for three months.

Despite the challenges, we are so grateful for our growing family. We are grateful that even though our baby hurts, she is healthy and thriving.

But watching a baby cry in pain gut-wrenching. It motivated us to seek treatment and to research everything we could find. This is our third time around with silent reflux and we are still learning. Every baby is different. There is no magic recipe for treatment that works for all babies.

For a while, it seemed like nothing could help her. But we kept praying. Kept searching. God has been faithful throughout the journey. When I have time to process the past months I’ll share what did help our daughter. She is still medicated for reflux, but it is now under control most of the time. God is so good. And His timing is perfect.

While we waited for the solution to control her reflux, we did our best. Many days we carried everywhere, all day long.

Often, she cried whether we held her or not. At least when she was in my arms, she wasn’t in pain alone.

If you’ve spent time around a baby who cries a lot, you know even the most seasoned parent can get frazzled – even a mom who cared for two other reflux babies.

A frazzled mom is simply not at her best, even when she is giving her best.

This frazzled mama has two older children who were not getting my best. Given the volume of crying, most interactions with my kids was done at an elevated volume and tone. I am not proud of some of the sharp replies and responses they got from me these past months. It is not surprising that our older children also struggled to cope. 

Our son had severe silent reflux, but he was our first child, so he had our full attention. Although our second child also had reflux, her symptoms were present more so at night than during the day, and were never as severe as her brother. Her older brother did not have to cope much with her crying because he slept through most of it.

While we are so grateful our third child has been a champion sleeper, her symptoms are expressed mainly during the day. And the pain and crying expression of that pain has been profound. In the second and third months of her life, it was not uncommon for her to cry for 5-10 hours of the day. She was either eating, sleeping or crying. There was little time or energy for anything, or anyone, else. For any of us.

If you are a parent of older children and a hurting baby, here are some tips for helping your older children cope with what is going on at home.

Infant Silent Reflux Is NOT Silent – 5 Ways To Help Older Children Cope

1. Don’t Expect Too Much

When frazzled by a screaming baby, we seems to expect older children to be on their best behavior. However, kids get just as frazzled as we do. I often found myself dismissing them, or asking them to wait for unreasonable amounts of time for basic needs because I was overwhelmed. But being overwhelmed does not mean they don’t need me as their mom, nor does it give me the right to expect them to not need anything while the baby is crying – especially when the baby is crying for most of the day.

If I am not at my best, it is not fair to expect our children to be at their best. But how should we expect them to behave? It is certainly OK to ask them to follow already established family rules – we wont’ be encouraging bad habits or lowering our standard of discipline because  that would have to be corrected later. However, it is appropriate and important to extend grace to an emotionally frazzled child who may just need more attention. Is your child’s misbehavior a cry for attention, or simply from frustration and confusion about what is happening in their home? If so, they need your help to cope.

2.Carve Out Quality Time

If siblings are struggling to behave or are emotionally frazzled, MAKE time to spend with each older child. This doesn’t have to be a big event. Take advantage of baby’s nap time and spend it with older children – household chores can wait, no matter how messy the house is. Sit down, read a book out loud, play Legos, or color. An amazing attitude adjustment can be seen in our kids after just 15 minutes of dedicated time. They need more of us. We need to make the time for them, no matter how old they are, or how much the baby cries.

3. Recruit Other Adults

After quality time, your children may still struggle. If so, it might be time to recruit some help. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and trusted family friends are perfect to lavish love on older children. Often, they do not know you need help and are more than willing to help. Or, those who don’t want to overstep may just waiting for you to ask. Not good at delegating? Check out this post for some ideas of ways others can help and have graciously helped our family. Then go ASK!

4. Talk About It

Siblings may not know if it is OK to feel frustrated, sad, or confused about what is going on at home. The crying, and decreased attention from their parents on top of the normal adjustment to a new family member can be hard for them to understand and may need help sorting through their feelings. One way to get them talking is to share how you are feeling. Tell them you are aware you’ve been spending less time, that you miss them and cherish the time you do have together. Gently, kindly share what you have noticed about their behavior and mood. Give them time and assurance that it is alright to share their feelings and that it is OK to have those feelings. Assure children that this season will not last forever, and be sure to make sure to tell them how much you love them and how proud of them you are. Repeat.

5. Get Out Of The House

It can be easy to just stay inside when baby cries most of the day. But isolation is not helpful for anyone. Resist the urge to stay inside and get out of the house. Don’t worry if people look when your baby cries – most of them think you are doing a great job. They may look only because they heard a noise. What they see is a mama who is doing her best. You don’t have to go far to escape the house. Go for a walk, to the park, the zoo, or anywhere that is out of the house and out of routine. Even if baby cries the whole time, go anyway. Crying never seems as loud when you’re outside, and you never know, you might get a break from crying if baby gets some fresh air.


A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom

A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom |

The hall bathroom is mainly used by our 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter. But often, it is used by guests. Almost 3 years after moving in, the bathroom was still builder-white.

With two little people using the bathroom, the walls were starting to look dingy from wet hands and water splatter on flat white paint.

The bathroom needed a satin-finish paint job to protect the walls and clean it up.

Plus, with a colicky baby keeping us home more than usual, I needed a project.


With a start and finish.

And I roped my husband into it when a simple paint job became a slightly larger project. We picked out navy paint for the space, but navy was just too dark for the window-less bathroom.

To keep the space bright, and protect walls from the wear and tear that is inflicted by small children, we decided to add white bead board.

Home Depot carries this two-foot width bead board product with pre-cut grooves to fit seams together. We needed just 5 two-foot boards for our small bathroom. We spent $35 on bead board and under $10 on chair rail and caulking.

The spendy part of this project was the paint. Sherwin Williams matched the white paint to our existing trim. One gallon of satin Super Paint along with velour rollers for an ultra-smooth finish was $50, even with a $10 off coupon!


But now we have enough high quality white paint to use for our future mud room lockers and bead board border.

A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom |

We taped and painted the navy color during nap time one day.  My husband spent half a day working on the bead board. And I spent one more nap time applying two coats of white paint to the bead board.





Paint completed, we just needed a few finishing touches.

A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom |

We found the wooden ‘Splash’ sign for $15 at Home Goods. You can find something similar from this Etsy shop.




A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom |

The wooden Whale was found on clearance for $7 at Hobby Lobby.




A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom |

Hand towels are hung using $9 wooden fish hangers from Marshalls.







A Kid And Guest Friendly Nautical Themed Bathroom |

The space was completed with the Wave Blue shower curtain from Target. Usually $17, we paid $14 using a 20% off Cartwheel deal.







It’s amazing how just one little project can make you feel energized…and ready for the next one.

Kindergarten Happens.

Kindergarten |

School supplies, backpacks, and school forms – we have them all. Obviously, I knew it was coming.

And yet…

How. Did. This. Happen?

In just one week our oldest child will begin kindergarten. And he is so excited. So ready.

While we can savor these last few days at home together, Kindergarten is happening – whether I am ready or not.

Life will be forever different. Instead of spending most of his time home, with us, he will spend most of his school year days with classmates and teachers.

I will miss him fiercely.

And so will his sisters.

It is hard to not dwell in sadness of what I will miss out on in his life. I will no longer have the front row seat for his school challenges and achievements. I realize this was true in preschool too, but he was only going two days, and now…FIVE!

Most of his activities and experiences at school will be learned only when he or a teacher shares it with us. Second-hand, after-the-fact.

I pray he loves school so much he can’t contain his excitement and wants to tell us ALL (and I do mean ALL) about it.

But as this new season begins, despite sadness and a little bit of fear, I just cannot hold back my joy and excitement for all he will learn in this new adventure.

New friends. Personal responsibility. Art. Gym. Newfound independence. Social skills. Letters. Math. Science. New challenges. History. And oh, so much more!

And my favorite thing to think about?


Whether in kindergarten or first grade, he will go to school, and someday, when he is ready, he will READ!

Our son will take all those carefully practiced letters and sounds and something will click. He will start to see how individual letters link together to make words. Then he will begin to read simple words, and then sentences, and…suddenly…he will read for himself.

And he will be able to write those words and sentences.

A profound, life-long set of skills for communication and learning.

Instead of needing parents to read and write for them, our kindergarteners will soon do this for themselves. Suddenly, a wealth of information is available to them, in black and white.

Books. Magazines. Newspapers. Posters. Billboards. Instructions. This grateful mama’s blog (whoa that is a strange thought)…And SO. Much. More.

But what excites me the most?

The Bible.

Our son will have the ability to read and study the Word of God for himself.

Take that in.

How exciting is THAT!? 

No longer will he have only heard the stories of the loving sovereign creator of the world. No longer will he have to rely on verses we’ve helped him memorize (although we will continue to memorize more as a family).

He will be able to read it ALL for himself. He will experience how God speaks to His children through scripture.

The Bible will become alive, personal, and precious as he explores it on his own. It is my prayer that the Bible will become our son’s most treasured possession, and favorite book.

I am SO GRATEFUL he has the opportunity and gift of going to a safe, academically strong, public school in the United States.

We are so, VERY privileged.

And so, with apprehension, sadness, joy, gratitude and elation, I am preparing myself to send him off on the school bus for his first day of school.

He is so excited to hop on that bus. Ready to learn. Ready for the independance. Ready for new friends. Ready for kindergarten and all that is in store for him.

And so, grateful for and expectant of how he will grow this year, I pray I will also be ready.

I choose to surrender my sadness and worry while trusting God with our son’s safety – He’s got this.

As I watch our son’s excitement and joy, I choose to dream and hope right alongside him. Ready or not, I can’t wait because he can’t wait.

Our son will do just fine out there in the little part of the world called kindergarten. In fact, I know he will thrive.

I will likely be one big mess of emotion as he steps onto the school bus that first day. I will do my best to keep it together for his sake (and my neighbors).

Kindergarten, ready or not, here we come!

In The Spirit Of These Olympics…BOO?

In the spirit of these |

I love the Olympics. Especially the summer Olympics. I could watch Olympic swimming all day, every day.

Our DVR is already full of every televised event so we can skip commercials and watch every televised event our heart desires.

The Olympics is one of the few things on television that I don’t feel the need to preview for our kids to watch (the commercials are another story, but as I mentioned, we skip them).

The Olympics are full of inspiring personal stories of strength, struggle and triumph, and the best of the best in every sport.

We know what to expect, and yet expect to be awestruck.

And we have been.

The 2016 Olympics are no exception. We get to be spectators of these events.

And we ARE glued to the TV and excited to watch these Olympians compete in the culmination of a lifetime of diligent training.

But one thing I do not EVER expect to see and hear in the Olympics is the audience ‘BOOing’ an athlete.

Any athlete.

EVEN a controversial athlete.

I have heard booing on several occasions so far, often aimed at Russia under the scrutiny of systematic doping, but also at a few athletes known for controversy.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand these people have behaved in ways unbecoming to the Olympic spirit, and to their sports.

Some might say they deserve it.

And yet…

This is the Olympics.

Do we as the audience get to then behave badly as well? Just because someone else did?

Are we, and those sitting in the stands, judge and jury?

I like to watch the Olympics with our son. He will cheer and get excited watching ANY sport. The Olympics is perfect for him. It is fun to watch and hear his joy and to see him amazed by what the best athletes the world has to offer can do.

But when our son hears BOO from the audience, even a 5-year-old knows it isn’t right.

It was hard to explain to him why they booed the Russian swimmer. It just isn’t his time to learn what doping means, or why it is frowned upon.

It is also hard to explain how at the Olympics (of all places), a swimmer ended up walking away crying after winning a silver medal.

Even though she did something wrong…do two wrongs make a right?

The only thing I could tell him is that the booing is not kind.

Booing has no place in the Olympics.

And in our family, we do not boo others.

I’m sad that the 2016 Olympics was a place that caused me to teach our son about judgement of others, and unkind words.

Instead, I want him to learn that the Olympics is an event known to embrace integrity, respect, encouragement, celebration and COMING TOGETHER. A time to teach our kids about good sportsmanship, hard work and friendly, but fierce competition.

The Olympic spirit is a beautiful thing – something that deserves to be preserved.

Quit booing.

Let’s get back to the Olympic spirit that we all cherish.

A Letter To Our Son, Who Just Broke His Arm

Aiden sling

My son, you amaze me.

This week you broke your arm jumping off a swing. It is thankfully not a bad break, but painful nonetheless.

Always the cautious child, I was surprised the first time you showed me your new swing-jumping skill. I was so proud of you for trying something new, and a little riskier than I expected from you.

And you jumped SO HIGH!

And stuck the landing.


I considered the risk and whether I should ask you to not do it again. But your dad and I want you to be free to be a KID. Plus, I jumped off of many swings and monkey bars when I was your age.

And sometimes I fell too.

Many jumps later, you got off balance and broke your fall with your wrist. On the grass. Who knew a bone could break from something simple like that?

I knew you were really hurt when you were hoarse from screaming before you could even tell me what happened as a neighbor walked you to the front yard.

Even then. In your tears. You were so brave.

Many tears, deep breaths, an ice pack, and a root beer float later, you actually decided you’d rather play than go home.

It’s OK that after a few minutes you came back in tears, ready to go.

It really hurt. And you were brave for trying., and wise to know when it was time to stop.

That night, we iced it, and you went to sleep with nothing more than Tylenol in your system. It’s OK that you woke up several times in tears.

Knowing what we know now, I’m surprised you slept at all.

In the morning, you woke bright-eyed and said you thought it felt a little better. I watched you all morning, playing, but careful not to move it up and down.

When I asked, you were willing to try moving it. You winced in pain, but tried anyway. You were adamant that you could go and play with friends that morning.

You played all morning long and had a blast, arm cradled close to your body. After seeing you cradle it all morning, we headed to the doctor.

The doctor isn’t your favorite place, but you are always willing to go and to do what they ask of you.

Even when you’re terrified.

Through the years you have battled some serious woes – reflux, repeated pneumonia, ear infections, allergy skin and blood testing, wheezing and asthma, and more. Many kids don’t know the doctors as well as you do. But they also don’t have to be truly brave because they haven’t experienced the things you have as you head into the office.

I am always amazed that even though you are afraid there, you understand that they are going to help you and that we need to be there. You don’t fight me as we go in the door, and you accept that some of what may happen might not be fun.

I promise to always be honest with you about what will happen there – I know you can handle it, and will always be right there with you.

As we waited to see if we needed an x-ray, you asked all kinds of questions. I love your curiosity and how you carefully listen to understand. I love watching you quietly process the words and to hear the next question.

You are incredibly smart. A wise soul in the body of a 5.5 year old.

As the doctor asked you to move your wrist, you knew it was going to hurt, but you did everything she asked you to do. You held still as she gently examined your arm.

I was so proud as I heard you thank her before she left the room. And then you thanked the nurses and x-ray technician, too, as we saw them one by one.

You weren’t so sure about that huge x-ray machine, but you sat still, and watched with cautious curiosity as they prepped everything. Even though the position for each x-ray wasn’t comfortable, and I had to leave your side to stand behind the wall, you sat still. You anxiously looked for my face in the window, but did exactly as they asked.

When we told you ‘good job’, I saw you light up. You knew you did it just right.

Then it was fun to see your face light up when they showed you your x-rays and you saw your bones.

You were so excited! It isn’t every day you get to see a picture of your bones! Although a broken bone isn’t fun, you still emanate joy despite your circumstances.

Tired of waiting, I could see that deep down, you just wanted to know what came next – even if it meant the bone was broken.

As with so many other doctor’s visits in the past, you are always willing to hear the hard news – sometimes more than I am.

You meet these battles head-on.

When the doctor returned, I could see on her face that the bone was broken. She soberly explained what happened to your bone to cause a buckle fracture in the radius.

You listened carefully. You asked a couple of questions.

Then you quietly accepted the truth, turning to tell me it was broken, just in case I didn’t understand.

You held very still as they prepared the splint and wrapped your arm, even as your arm got tired from holding it out and above your head. I could see the fascination on your face as you watched what they were doing. Even though the splint and sling were uncomfortable, you were willing to wear them.

No fuss.

And when the doctor explained how we couldn’t take the splint off, you quietly nodded.

Always willing to do as they ask, even when it may mean the end of summer water fun.

Walking to the car, you kindly asked for help with your seat belt, offering suggestions for how the sling could go on top of the belt.

My little troubleshooter. If you want to, you will make a brilliant engineer one day.

And as the sling belt dug into your neck, you told ME it was OK, you were going to be fine. You were so sweet, thanking me as I placed a soft towel underneath to make it more comfortable.

You are one tough, thoughtful and grateful kid.

It was surely disappointing when we came home and all your friends were outside playing but we had to go inside because the temporary sling wasn’t dry or set yet.

And as you asked me questions about playing in water, riding your scooter, and bike, and more that wouldn’t be a good idea right now, I saw the sadness in your eyes.

But then you took a deep breath and again, reassured ME, saying…’It’s OK mom. I don’t care if I broke my arm. I’ll be OK’. And, even better, ‘I’m glad God made our body so it can heal’ (be still my heart!).

What more could we ask of you?

Easy going. Brave. Calm.

With a good attitude even with a broken bone in the middle of summer.

We get the cast on Monday. It wont’ be fun wearing it for the rest of the summer, but I know you are going to be OK, just like you told me. There will be disappointment, but I can already tell you are going to make the most of this.

This morning you made me laugh as you asked me to put your eye patch on you so you could play pirate with your sister.


A broken arm cannot touch your imagination, sweet pirate.

Today I’m writing this because I see you. I am proud of you. I am grateful for your positive attitude and joyful heart. I see your childlike faith and trust that God will heal you.

Today, you have encouraged ME, your mom – and I’m not the one with the broken arm.

Thank you.

I love you.

I promise you I will find fun activities for you to do with a cast and your one arm.

And to tell you just how much I love you and just how proud of you I am – today, and every day.

A Ballerina and Flamingo Bedroom

When getting ready to transition our daughter from a toddler bed to a big-girl bed, we asked her what she wanted in her room.

Unprompted, she confidently answered – Ballerinas and Flamingos.

Hmm. Interesting combination. That might be a tall order.

I’m not sure what I expected her response to be, but ballerinas and flamingos wasn’t it.

Not surprising since she loves to twirl, and stand on one leg. Ha. Plus, she wanted a ballerina birthday party and ballerina birthday cake.

I  was thrilled when I found these pictures of a gold-polka dot quilt with ballerina sheets from Pottery Barn Kids. She was equally thrilled. Unfortunately I soon found the quilt and accessories were no longer available. Then when I found out how much they had been selling for, I suffered sticker shock. The quilt and shams alone would have put us back around $250.


Wanting to give her what she wanted, but to also be a good steward of our money, I decided to see if we could do something similar for much less.

As for the flamingos, at first, I could only find these Martha Stewart sheets. But the price was still more than I wanted to spend for mostly white sheets for a potty training child.

Stumped, I went looking for alternatives and inspiration at Home Goods.


Oh, Home Goods, you always come through for me.

There, in their tiny kid’s bedding aisle was a Nicole Miller gold-polka-dot bedding set for $40 (less than a quarter of the Pottery Barn quilt alone).

Next to the comforter? Lyla Rose Ballerina sheets for $15.

There I stood, surprised, pleased and cracking up by myself in the Home Goods aisle.

Yep, I’m totally that lady.

Then I made a mistake I won’t make again. Unsure of whether white bedding was a good idea for a 3-year-old, I decided to think about the comforter overnight and come back to buy it.

Bad idea.

It was gone the next day. Thankfully, after calling every Home Goods in the Twin Cities, I found the LAST one 30 minutes away.

After getting almost exactly what I was looking for at a fraction of the price, imagine my surprise when Target came out with their new Pillowfort bedding…including Flamingo sheets for $18 (bought for $15 using a 20% off coupon).

Perhaps a ballerina and flamingo bedroom isn’t such a tall order after all.


I ordered some alphabet, ballerina and flamingo artwork on Etsy, and found a framed arrow picture on clearance at Gordmans. I  was able to display them in frames we already owned.

Ballerina and Flamingo Room

Inspired by this Pinterest Pin, I ordered gold polka-dot wall decals from Ebay for $16.Accessories.jpg

We kept the string of bird garland from her baby room, added one painted wooden “A” from Home Goods, and a scripture verse made by my mom (the one we wrote on the wood studs of her room while our house was being built).

Done. The bedding and decorations for just over $110. And we should be able to keep it the same for several years.

Now our little sunshine girl has a BIG girl room.

To say she is delighted by her room may be an understatement.

She did some ‘twirling’ to celebrate it.