Do you struggle to find questions to get your kids talking after school? 101 After School Questions for Kids will help you keep the conversation going!
While prepping the snack for our kids on the first day of school, I imagined how they would be so excited to tell me all about their big day.
Without stretching your imagination, I’m guessing you can figure out how it actually went.
One. Word. Answers.
It’s kind of an amazing natural skill they have; you couldn’t pay this writer to be so concise!
Students of Our Kids
Keeping open conversation and connection with our kids is one of the greatest challenges we face as parents. That’s why we it’s so important we study our kids to learn the unique ways they communicate. Like our children need to study for school subjects, we need to study our kids if we want to relate on their level.
Like our children need to study for school subjects, we need to study our kids if we want to relate on their level. #motherhood #momlife #parenting Click To TweetSome of our children don’t seem to want to talk about school, friends, or anything else that happened while they were away from us. For hours. We know things happened! And we want to know what those things are!
I won’t say which, but one of our children shares as few words as possible. Asking ‘how was your day?’ yields the following: good, boring, or fine. Do any of your children fall into the one-word-answer category too?
If your child (or maybe even all of your children) don’t want to talk about school; sweet friend. you’re in good company. We are going to need to learn together.
Mamas, we cannot give up!
To parent well, we have to know what our children are encountering in their relationships and education. It is our job to foster a relationship and create an environment of trust where our children can ask hard questions, express their feelings, and ask for advice. We want to be approachable and we cannot expect our kids to adjust their communication to fit our style.
It is our job to foster a relationship and create and environment of trust where our children can ask hard questions, express their feelings, and ask for advice. #parenting #motherhood #communication Click To TweetLearning how our kids communicate isn’t always easy. However, adjusting how we approach our kids shows them just how much we long to connect and how much we love to be in their company.
A Worthy Challenge
We are students.
What works with one child may not work with another because they are uniquely, and wonderfully different! Even if that uniqueness makes conversation difficult sometimes. As parents, we cannot assume we know what’s best if we haven’t learned what our kids are experiencing, thinking, and questioning.
If you’re like me, this doesn’t come naturally. I fall into the somewhat socially awkward, introvert category. I’m not great with coming up with follow up questions during conversation, especially if given a one-word answer.
To be a student of our children, we are going to have to practice. Not only do we need great questions, we need a variety of questions. I don’t have all the answers on connecting with our kids, but I do have some conversation starters to share with you today.
After School Questions for Kids
One way to begin studying our kids is to ask new questions and note the types of questions that get them talking. To help us all get started, you’ll find a free printable, 101 Questions for Kids, in the Resource Library.
(If you’re new around here, the resource library is where new and existing subscribers access all past and future printable freebies from This Grateful Mama. Sign up today so you don’t miss a thing!)
Where did these questions come from? Some are questions I’ve been testing out on our kids in recent weeks. There are also many questions on this list shared with me by other moms who also really want to connect with their kids in a meaningful way.
As I’ve been asking these questions this week, I’m noticing each child responds differently. And, there is no guarantee that the same child will respond the same way next time. It’s definitely helpful to have questions prepared to toss out if the first question gets shut down with a single word. Or grunt.
The 101 Questions for Kids list is broken down into types of questions. There are questions about Feelings and Experiences, Friends and Relationships, The School Day and Learning, and questions that are just All About Your Child. If a question from one category fails, try one from a different part of the list.
A Word of Encouragement
The charge to connect with our kids isn’t an easy one. In fact, we can count on seasons where it will feel almost impossible to connect with our children as they develop and grow. Their communication styles, personality, and experiences is sure to keep us on our toes!
From my own experience, I know that urgent desire and need to do more. That feeling that I haven’t done enough and what I have done isn’t working. I know how mom-guilt sneaks in and fills my soul with insecurity and the feeling of failure. If you are facing that today, take heart. I’ve been there too and will be there again.
Sweet friend, there’s grace for you and for me. The blood of Jesus is enough for our worst mom failures and weaknesses. God has wisely, not mistakenly, entrusted these children to us. He will not leave us unequipped to raise them. We can expect motherhood to reveal we aren’t mom-enough; when it does, we can trust Jesus is enough.
As you face communication challenges with each child, ask for wisdom. For comfort. And help. God is faithful and able to supply what we need. When we fail, we can confess our shortcomings, mistakes and remorse to God, and experience His love, mercy and grace. God is not only a good Father to our children, He is our good Father too. Through Jesus, God is ready to forgive and provide. Look up – He’s waiting for you with grace upon grace upon grace.
Finally, when nothing seems to work, even our best questions, we have other tools in community, and in prayer. Look for upcoming posts on our need to intentionally build our ‘village’ of trusted people who can engage with our kids alongside us, and encourage, speak truth and walk through this thing we call parenting. And another post on the importance of praying for our children and families.
Share Your Wisdom
I am learning right along with you in this parenting journey. I’d love to hear what questions you ask to connect with your child, and any tips you have to study your children!
Please share your wisdom on this subject with me and the community here in the comments!
Additional Resources
Your Child’s Personality, Focus on the Family
What One-On-One Time With You Does For Your Kids, A Mother Far From Home
Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up, This Grateful Mama
Elaine, this is great! Yes, those one-word answers from my kids when they were younger drove me crazy. That’s why this has to be intentional and why your questions for kids are so insightful. This thought is spot on: “It is our job to foster a relationship and create an environment of trust where our children can ask hard questions, express their feelings, and ask for advice. We want to be approachable and we cannot expect our kids to adjust their communication to fit our style.” Becoming approachable to the kids in our life and discovering their unique communication style is key. With a background and degree in communication, this article makes my heart sing! Thanks for sharing it!
Karen, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and perspective! I didn’t know you had a communication degree – good to learn more about you! It is amazing how uniquely God has created each of our children – inside and out! I’m so thankful the Holy Spirit is ready to equip us as parents to get to know our kids and reach their hearts for Him.