Claiming God’s Promises When Prayer Is Answered In A Different Way Than We Hoped

Claiming God's Promises When Prayer Is Answered In A Different Way Than We Hoped | thisgratefulmama.com

Last Wednesday, our son had an allergic reaction to peanut butter. Peanut butter we gave him, knowing he may have a reaction.

Wait. What?

Let’s backup a bit. Our son was diagnosed with a peanut and tree nut allergy shortly after his first birthday. We quickly became Epi-Pen carrying, label-reading, question-asking protectors of our son.

All along, we have prayed for our son’s protection. And we have prayed with expectant hope for healing from all food allergies. 

Over the past two years, his tree nut blood test results have increased but his peanut results have steadily decreased.

This year, both blood and skin tests were clearly negative for peanut allergy. We hoped our prayer had been answered. 

Our allergist recommended an oral food allergy challenge. While we agreed with the allergist’s recommendation, this was not a decision we made lightly. Consenting to allow our child, who we have protected from peanuts for 6 years, to EAT peanuts is a scary thing. We also knew our son did not fully comprehend what a reaction could feel like or how dangerous and scary it could be.

We requested prayer. One day I’ll go into specifics about how so many of those specific prayers were answered.

Last week, we went to the hospital and watched our child eat peanut butter for the first time. Between the third and fourth dose of peanut butter, he began to react. The details of the reaction aren’t what I am writing about today.

Here’s what you need to know: Our son had an allergic reaction to peanuts. He is doing well and has recovered fully. We received great care and have a plan moving forward to keep him safe.

Now, let’s get back to what I do want to talk about today. Our son still has a peanut allergy and this is not the result we prayed and hoped for.

We are disappointed. I’ve had some deeply emotional moments with loved ones and before God this past week. It hurts to fully hope for something and not receive it. We hoped to celebrate his healing.

It hurts that our son will still be carrying this allergy and the possibility of serious injury or death if we make just ONE mistake. It hurts that sometimes he feels excluded or left out because of what he can and cannot eat.

It breaks my mama-heart that I cannot fix this.

When our prayers are answered in a different way than we asked and we’re feeling broken – what do we do next?

Claiming God's Promises When Prayer Is Answered In A Different Way Than We Hoped | thisgratefulmama.com 

Grieve

When we’ve prayed – in our case, for 6 years – it is OK to grieve when the answer isn’t what we asked for. We love our son and want him to be free from this burden. One way to express this grief is to lament. In Psalms, God has given us many examples of lament. It is OK to tell Him what we feel – He already knows our thoughts and won’t turn us away.

I’ve spent some time this week pouring out my heart to God – the disappointment and sadness, and how scary it was to watch our son’s reaction. It feels strange – but pretending I don’t feel these things makes my prayers fake and prevents me from feeling His comfort and peace.

God calls us to come to Him and He promises comfort.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
-Matthew 11:28-30

Claiming God's Promises When Prayer Is Answered In A Different Way Than We Hoped | thisgratefulmama.com

Claim God’s Promises

But lament isn’t just telling God how we feel – it also involves reminding ourselves of who God says He is in His Word, and what He promises to do. As we claim His promises, we acknowledge His character and sovereignty, and surrender to His will.

With my emotions out of the way, God began to show me a new perspective based on His promises – not the way I feel

This was not the answer we hoped for – but we are not without hope.

On the surface, it appears God said NO to our prayer to heal our son. But that is not an accurate answer. What God did say is ‘Not yet.’

The Bible is clear that God is ABLE to heal. There are many accounts of Jesus healing people throughout the gospels. But even Paul, who was a profoundly effective, faithful servant of God, had a ‘thorn in his flesh’ (2 Cor 12:7) that God did not heal during Paul’s life on earth.

God responded to Paul’s prayer for healing with a promise:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
– 2 Corinthians 12:9

Although God is ABLE, He does not heal everything we ask Him to. His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways (Is. 55:8-9). God does promise that in every weakness, His grace is enough. And He promises the power of Christ in those weaknesses.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort
-2 Corinthians 1:3

God doesn’t leave us to struggle on our own – He promises comfort. 

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
-Romans 5:3-5

God promises that our suffering, whatever it may be, will not be in vain. Furthermore, He will use it to make us more like Him, giving us hope while pouring out His love upon us.

I do not know if our son will be healed of food allergies while on earth. Romans 5 reminded me that continuing to pray and hope will not be put to shame – because God IS ABLE. I will not stop asking God to heal our son just because God hasn’t done it yet

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
-Romans 8:28

God promises that He will work in all situations for our good and for God’s glory. We have already seen God’s faithfulness in this area – good has already come from these allergies.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
-Revelation 21:4

Finally, God promises that ALL will be healed in heaven. I trust God with our son’s heart and have full confidence our son will see heaven. I also have full confidence that our son WILL be healed of all food allergies in heaven.

This morning I woke up needing to hear all of these things, even though God has been showing them to me all week. I needed to be reminded of His love and to have my soul lifted up.

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
    for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
    for to you I lift up my soul.
-Psalm 143:8

Can I let you in on a secret? This post isn’t actually for all of you. It’s for me. Sometimes we need to be reminded of truths God shows us and to speak them into our own lives. God is who He says He is. His promises are still true, even when He does not answer my prayers in the way I want Him to, when I want Him to.

Claiming God’s Promises When Prayer Is Answered Differently Than We Hoped | thisgratefulmama.com

Which of these promises do YOU need to claim in your current circumstances? 

 

Do you know what a Link Party is? It is a place for bloggers to share their posts. It is also one of my favorite ways to find encouraging posts from great bloggers – you will certainly find great posts from amazing bloggers. Check them out!

This post was shared at the following Link Parties:

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A Little Girl And A Big School Bus – Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up

A Little Girl And A Big Bus - Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up | thisgratefulmama.com

Two weeks ago our four year old sunshine girl climbed the stairs of a school bus for the first time. Unexpected mom-emotions threatened to overtake me as my mind raced with thoughts of all she would experience – good and bad – while away from me.

She’s growing up.

She rocked 3’s preschool and has been away from me for countless bible studies, Sunday school, and more. But as I watched her climb onto that big school bus wearing that giant-flamingo backpack, she looked so small.

Isn’t that my baby up there? 

Parenting is full of these emotion-fueled moments – when we realize our children are growing up and stepping a little further into the world. These moments remind us that we cannot control our kids or their experiences.

She didn’t hesitate as she turned back, grinning with sparkling eyes as she waved goodbye.

She didn’t hesitate. So why was I?

I stood, choked up and snapping pictures. I waved furiously with a smile plastered to my face as the bus drove away.

The bus rounded the corner. The only evidence it had been there at all was the plume of exhaust and my husband, mom and I gazing at an empty street.

Sunshine girl was on her way to school with a bus load of new friends. Without me. 

Year by year, our children will spend more time at school and activities, with people other than us. They gather life-skills and knowledge and are slowly equipped to become independent, functioning adults.

Independent. Of us. 

And what of us, their parents? Once their ‘whole world’ and providers of everything they need – we’re gradually needed less and less as our role continually changes.

We proudly cheer them on, celebrating new freedoms and opportunities while acknowledging that there is less we can protect them from. We’re grateful they don’t grow up overnight, even if looking back, it feels like it did.

And this is all right and good. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. 

Or unemotional.

Our emotions are real and powerful. And sometimes emotions creep up out of nowhere and threaten to knock us off our feet.

We need to adapt and learn to not only accept but embrace these moments and the emotions they stir up.

Stop Comparing

Your emotions are yours. They don’t belong to your neighbor, friend, or that mom over there that you don’t even know.

Stop comparing. Every parent feels emotions and processes them differentlyWhat you feel as your child climbs onto the school bus is ok.

A Little Girl And A Big School Bus - Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up | thisgratefulmama.com

You don’t have to apologize for crying, even if you’re the only mom ugly-crying on the curb as the bus drives away.

Quit worrying about what everyone else is doing and give yourself permission to feel it all.

So now we admit we have these emotions and we’re not worried about what everyone else is doing. Now what?

Own It

We love our children. So it makes sense that our emotions can be fierce. Letting go and watching our children step out into the world is hard. And excitingAnd scary.

Stifling emotions never really works. They just bubble out later in another way or at someone else, with increased intensity.

Feel something? Own it.

So what if you’re an ugly-crying mess at the bus stop? So what if you’re the only dry-eyed mom in the crowd? So what if summer was so long and tiring that a part of you feels like celebrating and maybe a twinge guilty about that (or maybe you feel no guilt)?  So what if you’re suddenly crying in Target 3 hours later because you just miss them?

What if your kids see you? While we do need to have wisdom and discernment about how and what we share with our children, it is ok for them to see you express what you feel.

In these milestone moments, watching you feel and process emotions in a healthy way gives your children permission to feel and process their own. 

A Little Girl And A Big School Bus - Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up | thisgratefulmama.com

 

Process It

Do your emotions surprise you? Days before school started, I expected to cry at the bus stop. Then, that morning as we stood waiting for the bus I felt only excitement. I was happy and exited – not sad at all!

Then she took those first steps up and WHAM!

When emotions surprise me, the best way to work through them is to process them. Feel them. Think through them. Talk about them.

This does require time and energy but is too important to pass up.

Go to God – Night or day, God is always available. Our loving Father loves to comfort His children. No matter the emotion, He already knows. When it comes to emotions I feel as a parent, it is such a comfort to know that God created our children and loves them even more than than I can. He listens and provides peace and comfort beyond our understanding. Try it! Pray through emotions and spend some time reading His word. He won’t leave you hanging.

Talk to a Friend – One of the reasons we need community is to process real-life with people who are willing to be authentic. We need to know we’re not alone and to be encouraged by other parents. Be honest. Cry if you feel like it. Speaking how we feel out loud is powerful.

Write – When home with kids all day, I can’t always process emotions out-loud with another adult. Journaling or blogging about what I’m feeling helps me find clarity and understand what I am feeling and WHY.

Celebrate 

One way to take the edge off of our emotions of sadness, longing or fear is to celebrate milestones – even if just official days like the first/last day of school and birthdays.

That said, we don’t need to celebrate everything. Celebrate events that are significant to your family and priorities. Celebrating puts the joy back into even the most bittersweet milestone.

A Little Girl And A Big School Bus - Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up | thisgratefulmama.com

Celebrate with a meal, a sporting event or activity, a gift, a handwritten card, or an intentional conversation. Celebrate to remind your children that you’re cheering them on and proud of them.

Be Present

Finally, no matter how emotional you feel, at some point, you need to step out of your own head and step into the time and place you’re in.

I spent a couple hours dwelling in my own swimming emotions and thoughts before doing anything productive with them. Once I began to process them, I was able to step back into the day and be ready and excited to hear all about that first day of school. If I’d kept it all in, I’m not sure I would have been any good to anybody – just a puddle of tears and self-pity.

Be present with those right in front of you. Don’t let your emotions put you in a funk that steals quality time from you and your family.

A Little Girl And A Big School Bus - Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up | thisgratefulmama.com

 

A Little Girl And A Big School Bus - Embracing The Moments (And Emotions) That Remind Us Our Children Are Growing Up | thisgratefulmama.com Embracing Moments

 

5 Questions to Consider When Setting Your Family’s Fall Schedule

It isn’t September quite yet but I’m already seeing pictures of the first day of school. Do you struggle with the fall schedule? How do you decide what stays and what goes?

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5 Questions To Consider When Setting Your Family's Fall Schedule | thisgratefulmama.com

Hello September.

I can’t believe my second summer as a stay-at-home mom is finished already. Unlike last year, our mornings were free since our daughter dropped her morning nap. With no scheduled activities, we kept a very loose schedule.

The freedom…It. Was. Lovely.

We met friends at parks, went to the zoo (A LOT), ran errands on rainy days, and spent a lot of time relaxing, reading books, and playing at home.

My husband and I allowed bed and nap times to be more flexible than the rest of the year. If neighbor children were outside, we allowed the kids to play longer, and stayed later at events. We also allowed our little one to even skip naps for special family events (although she and WE all paid for that!).

The loose schedule did sometimes yield overtired, overstimulated, unruly and exhausted children. But, because it was summer, we simply stayed home the next day (or two) to get back on…

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Versatile Blogger Award Nomination

Versatile Blogger Award Nomination | thisgratefulmama.com

The more time I spend blogging and connecting with other bloggers, the more I am impressed with the talent and kindness of the blogging community. So many are willing to support each other, answer questions and encourage one another. I experienced a great encouragement and surprise this week when I was nominated by Two Little Homeschoolers for the Versatile Blogger Award.

First, THANK YOU Jessie for the nomination. It is an honor to be included in your nominations. It has been so fun to explore your blog and learn 7 more things about you from your award post!

I know you will love her blog as much as I do. She has great posts on organization, parenting and home school adventures. Check it out!

What is it? 

The Versatile Blogger Award is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. The goal is to recognize talent of peers in the blogging community and to help readers learn more about the actual people behind each blog nominated.

Rules:

• Thank the blogger who nominated you and share their link.
• Nominate up to 10 bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs.  Also, inform them about the nomination.
• Reveal 7 facts about yourself that your readers may not know.

7 Facts About Me:

1. I’m Not Famous – When I graduated high school I decided to be a pharmacist. When friends told me it was a boring job, I joked that I would be a FAMOUS pharmacist. Well. I’m not a pharmacist. And I’m definitely not famous. My parents still tease me.

2. Costco is my happy place – It. Just. Is.

3. Brave For Kids – While I am not afraid of all bugs, I am afraid of spiders and bugs that just look creepy – you know what I mean. In high school I was bitten by a spider and had some kind of reaction to it. Ugh. It was terrifyingly nasty and left a scar. Motherhood has challenged me to be brave for the kids. Now, I resist the urge to SCREAM and run away. I take a deep breath and squish it (so gross) while praying it doesn’t crawl up my shoe. So far the kids are brave and I hope they always will be.

4. Sunday is the Fun-day – When I worked full-time, Sunday was not my favorite – work was looming and the weekend was escaping me. I am grateful to have the privilege of being home with our kids. Now Sunday is my favorite day of the week – I love to start the day worshiping Jesus at church, and then spending the day as a family.

5. Belly Flop Award – I learned swimming basics just before junior high and joined the swim team because all my friends were doing it. On the first day of practice I had no idea that front crawl was called freestyle, nor had I EVER attempted the butterfly. My breaststroke was faster than my freestyle (NOT good). The entire season, I belly-flopped my way into each race as my parents cheered me on, praying I wouldn’t drown. Guys, the Versatile Blogger Award isn’t my first award – I won the Belly Flop Award at the team banquet that year.

6. Awkward – I am an introvert and need time to process thoughts before speaking. I am fine one-on-one but often feel socially awkward in large groups. It’s hard to figure out when to join the conversation – sometimes I speak at the wrong time or miss my chance as conversation moves on. In large groups I’m usually quiet and listening, or talking with one or two people in the corner.

7. Hometown Reluctance – When we got married, I told my husband we would never live in my hometown. Roughly 10 years later, that is exactly where we moved. And we love it.

Want to know more? Read About Me or my very first blog post to learn more about why I began blogging.

Versatile Blogger Award Nominations

Now for the fun part – I get the privilege of nominating other blogs I’ve been reading.

These are bloggers whose writing encourages, challenges and inspires.

Please spend some time checking them out – you won’t be sorry!

The Holly And Ivy Mommy

This Abundant Life Blog

Beautiful In God

Casey The College Celiac

The SAHM Writer

A Moose A Fox And Chaos

Cottage In The Oaks

Set My Heart On You

His Purpose In Me

Renovated Faith

Have fun guys – I cannot wait to read 7 facts about each of you and to see who you nominate!

Versatile Blogger Award Nomination | thisgratefulmama.com

Thank you again, Jessie, for the nomination and encouragement. This was a gift and so much fun!

11 Ways For Mamas & Kids To Express Gratitude On Father’s Day (And Every Day)

How do you celebrate the fathers in your life?

this grateful mama

11 Ways For Mamas & Kids To Express Gratitude On Father’s Day (And Every Day) | thisgratefulmama.com

Can you believe that Father’s Day is already just over one week away? Father’s day is one of my favorites to prepare for – it’s a dedicated day to show my husband how much I appreciate him, and a day to help our children express how grateful they are for their daddy.

I often struggle with how to best express this intense appreciation and gratitude. We just want it to be a special day honoring the one who is so special to us.

Last year, we gave my husband a photo desk calendar, celebrated with a family meal, and our 3-year-old son gave a framed set of interview questions and answers. This year we want to shake it up a bit. Here’s a few ideas we’ve used in the past or are considering for this and future years.

(Now…if you are my husband reading this….this might be a good place to stop or you may…

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Gifts Moms With Little Ones Will Love

Need a last minute Mother’s Day gift idea?

this grateful mama

collage-final

Do you know a mom with little ones that you would like to bless this Christmas?

Well.

Then this list is for YOU! Whether she’s your mom, wife, friend, or daughter, here’s some gift ideas she’ll love.

*Note – I am not affiliated with any of the gifts below, these are simply some of my favorite items that I think other moms could use and would like.

thermosNo Spill Coffee Mug – You guys, this Thermos Stainless King 16 Oz Travel Tumbler is the best. Ever. I’ve been using mine daily for 3 years and it’s still in great shape. Why so great? I just throw it right in my purse or diaper bag because this lid DOES NOT leak (as long as you close the lid – a grievous mistake). Keeps coffee piping hot for 5 hours, or cold things cold for 9.

coloring-bookColor-therapy – What could be more soothing than…

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DIY Glass Photo Pendant Beaded Necklaces

Looking for a meaningful Mother’s Day gift idea? You have plenty of time to make a Photo Pendant Necklace!

this grateful mama

DIY Glass Photo Pendant Beaded Necklaces | www.thisgratefulmama.com

You guys…

I’ve been working on a tutorial, but it isn’t done, and I just couldn’t wait any longer to share a photo of one of these necklaces!

Consider this a sneak peek because I just can’t help myself.

In July, our family celebrated the birthdays of my mom and my husband’s grandma. This year we found ourselves at a bit of a loss of what to give. Neither of them really need anything, nor do they really desire more ‘stuff’.

While they appreciate ALL gifts, personal gifts (especially those involving grandchildren or great-grandchildren) often elicit the most joyful response. You know, the face-lights-up-with-delight kind of response.

Over the past few months, I’ve been slowly collecting supplies to make photo pendant necklaces. I wasn’t sure when I’d make them or who to give them to, but it was something I really wanted to try. Taking my time to buy supplies, I was able to buy everything on sale or with…

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