Valentine’s Day is not my thing. While I will never poo poo a chance to go on a date with my husband, I could care less about going on February 14th, when the restaurants are packed. I’m not big on fancy chocolates (and basically none exist that meet the nut-free criteria to enter our home), or flowers (ah-choo!). By far, the best part about Valentine’s Day paraphernalia is the Gobstopper Sweet Hearts that show up in stores, right after New Years Day (oh, man we just can’t survive even a week without a section in Target devoted to the next Hallmark holiday).

Although the actual day is no biggie to us, we always make a point of going on a date on another night in February. I’m happy to have dinner on a less-crowded night and to not be forced to find something in the color red to wear. As busy parents, we can embrace and use any reason to go on a date and are happy to oblige the ‘love’ in the air by going out without our kids.

But our date is more about us than a pink and red ridden Hallmark holiday.

Whether you jump for joy at the thought of Valentine’s day or feel like it is no big deal, Valentine’s day (like any day) IS a great time to focus on the one you love, and to make an extra effort to make them feel loved. While this is written with marriage in mind, these are simple ways to love or not to love in any relationship.

22 Practical DO’s And DON’Ts To Show Love On Valentine’s Day {and Every Day}

1. DO acknowledge that Valentine’s Day is a reminder to celebrate your relationship, whether you like the holiday or not

2. DO NOT see a movie that isn’t about love at all – take the excellent advice on scissortail SILK blog and honor your spouse with your choices about what you watch and read. Play a game, sit and talk, or find another way to entertain yourselves

3. DO tell them how grateful you are for the way they love you and how they provide for and love your family

4. DO NOT cop-out and buy a huge heart-shaped box of chocolate unless nougat filled chocolate is what your spouse would really be excited about

5. DO kiss and hug your spouse at least 5 times more than usual, and I don’t mean a peck on the cheek

6. DO NOT just sign your name to a Valentine’s Day Card…write at least a paragraph to express what they mean to you

7. DO tell your kids how much you love their mom/dad and be clear that your spouse is your valentine, not your kids

8. DO NOT assume your spouse doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day just because you don’t or skip planning something if you know they want to celebrate it

9. DO volunteer to give a back or neck rub, or do a surprise run through Starbucks drive thru while you’re out and about (hint, hint!)

10. DO NOT be too busy making your child’s Valentine’s Day special to do something special for your spouse (even if it’s something small like ea special meal, card, small gift, coffee date)

11. DO put the kids to bed 30 minutes or 1 hour early and use it to spend quality time together

12. DO NOT spend your evening (or day) on your phone, laptop or tablet. Put the internet DOWN!

13. DO compliment them and those special characteristics that you fell in love with way back when and reminisce about your first date, engagement, etc.

14. DO NOT complain or grumble in any way about what you’d rather be doing on Valentine’s day

15. DO that chore or task that neither of you likes to do and do it joyfully before they can (in our house, it’s taking the Diaper Genie out to the trash…disgusting!)

16. DO NOT speak ill of them to your girl friends or guy friends. Defend them and speak well of them

17. DO something special about a week after Valentine’s day, and every week thereafter (email at work to say you love them, note in their lunch, extra kiss after they get home)

18. DO NOT eat too much, drink too much, or do too much of anything that detracts from the night your spouse will have on your date

19. DO snuggle, hold hands, hug, kiss, and so on…

20. DO NOT have expectations. Put away those expectations and be happy to spend the day together wherever you are, whatever you are doing

21. DO treat love as a choice. Do it when we are happy, sad, mad, silly and cranky

22. DO (or DO NOT) do these things every day, not just today. Love each other in thoughtful ways every day

Happy Valentine’s Day!