Encourage moms, don’t judge! Motherhood is a high calling and we need community to do it well. We are at our best when we lift each other up.

Why does it seem like moms are offended by each other on a regular basis? Some stay at home moms are offended by other stay at home moms and some stay at home moms are offended by working moms. And some working moms are offended by other working moms. Do you see the pattern here? Some working moms are offended by stay at home moms.

Good grief. Those stay at home mom and working mom labels make everything such a mouthful.

Why So Offended?

Why is everyone so offended? Aren’t we all just moms?

Before I offend anyone, I don’t mean we’re ‘just’ moms. All of us are more: friends, daughters, aunts, professionals, volunteers, teachers, wives, athletes and more. But fundamentally, if those characteristics do not fully define us, why are we so quick to define ourselves by our activity of staying home or working outside the home?

Why are we so concerned about what we and others do all day? Whether we work at home, or away from home, part-time, full-time, or not at all, we are ALL full-time moms. Each of us became moms when we first loved our children. For some, it happened while babies were still in our womb. For others, it happened when they first began to seek out adoption, possibly while their child was in the womb of someone else.

It is our heart that defines us as a mom. Not what we do.

When our son was born, I worked outside the home. When our daughter was born, I stopped working outside the home. My days look different now, but I’m still the same amount of mom.

Once a mom, ALWAYS a mom, regardless of the other ways you spend your time.

Why are we so concerned with who feels blessed to be home and who complains about it? What value is there in presuming working or stay at home moms want to be home, or that they do not? Or that it was an easy choice? Our assumptions are just that. Why presume anything?

Are we all so insecure in our own mom-role that we need to tear others down in theirs?

Quit judging! We were not put here on this planet to judge other moms. 

Now, I know some women can be judging, unkind, catty, careless with words or unaware of their impact, but we all need to grow some thicker skin. The word ‘offended’ is defined as resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult. Much of what we are offended by may have been unintentional and petty because we’re all just a little bit too sensitive.

Worry About Yourself

Who cares if so-and-so is happy or unhappy in their situation-that-you-want? Their situation is NOT yours and theirs is much more complicated than you perceive it to be. And, although they may sound ungrateful, they might just be having a really bad day. Don’t we all have bad days?

Let’s focus on trying to be content in our own situation instead of the one we don’t have. The grass isn’t always greener, and sometimes it’s brown, crispy and a fire-hazard.

Who are we to call other moms ungrateful? If we’re offended by their lack of gratitude, we’re probably ungrateful in our OWN situation.

A Common Purpose

We are all women. Mothers. There should be comradery in these noble things. We serve a common purpose.

It is time to start encouraging each other and to spend our time lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. Encourage the career-minded mom and cheer her on in her endeavors. Encourage the mom who stays home because she feels called to do so.

And please, we need to go out of our way to encourage the moms working or at home whose circumstance determined their days – they have set aside their preference and are doing what needs to be done for their family. We should cheer them on wholeheartedly.

It is time to extend grace when someone else’s words strike a nerve in our own life. Now is the time to leave our gossiping, angry blog-posting and social media slandering ways and to instead have empathy for each woman and her struggles. Today is the time to point each other towards hope and joy and to check our jealousy at the door.

We are ALL moms. That alone should be enough to be a community who supports each other in such an important endeavor.

Will you join me?